Mood Music

First off I want to just reassure you that this post won't be quite as horrifically long as my last one. I promise. Now 'Mood Music', just quickly I'm not talking about Barry White or Marvin Gaye in the bedroom, I'm being a little bit more generalized than that, I mean music that we play or is being played that reflects the mood we're in, and the weird bits and bobs around it.

So I think we'll start with the worst one first, so we can end on a positive note, sound good? You can't reply so I'll presume you agreed ;) "I'm depressed/sad/unhappy, I am unsure of what I should do to make myself feel better, oh well I'll just sit down and play this very depressing song, that seems like the best option for me at this moment, while I think of what to do" "WHAT??" I don't know how true this is for anyone else, but blooming heck is it true for me, if I'm ever down in the dumps, my mind instantly decides to play the most depressing songs possible, or ones that are about situations that are making me sad, I mean what the hell? It seems like the strangest thing to do, but something is so natural about it, one thing you should know about me is that I'm pretty much addicted to the internet and my phone, simple as that, so if I'm depressed and use them, you can bet I'll either go on YouTube or plug my headphones into my phone and shove some slow and sad music on! Why? I'm not sure, maybe in my unhappy zombie-mode I calculate in my brain that if I combine my emotion with the same type of song that they'll just clash and produce a happier emotion. Yeah...Sure....Whatever you say Zombie-Liam.

ENOUGH! Happy music time. What do I play when I'm happy? Depressing music, no I'm joking...possibly, but still the majority of the time its really jumpy songs, a bit of Stevie Wonder, bit of Michael Jackson, or a bit of rap something that makes me wanna jump and run around the house like an idiot (my flatmates have already witnessed this...poor them) BUT, when I'm happy and in fact when I'm being depressed but sensible, I listen to quite a bit of screamo; there's something about hearing someone destroy their lungs shouting lyrics that lifts my spirits! It'll be something like King for a Day by Kellin Quinn and Pierce the Veil, You are Beautiful or Friends like These by Deaf Havana just on repeat.... Personally I think it's a pretty good idea, it works for being depressed AND angry, you can hear  someone screaming, and feel like you're letting everything out, without getting a sore throat! Think about doing that next time!

Last of all, next time you're washing up or drying up or doing any chores shove some Stevie Wonder on or Michael Jackson BEST CHORE MUSIC EVER, get your dance on while working, its fun, its exercise and its greeeeeeat!! ... Oh dear, I think I should stop there, turning a bit insane. Tarah!

2013 Reflection.

Change. That is one of the main words I would use in relation to this past year, change and difference, a lot of my own personal morals, traditions, routines, feelings, concepts, wishes have completely changed, and I have been made to contemplate a lot. This is not a bad thing, trust me, sometimes we all NEED that change, we can be stuck in a position where we follow what we believe is the 'right way' or the 'only way' when in fact its purely 'your way' which can be changed, and doesn't have to be as set in concrete as you make it out to be. Just the same as you can sometimes be lead by 'others way' which is a set of feelings or morals that are molded to you by others who you respect, but may not respect and fool you into thinking their way is the best way. I'll start with a little warning though, despite the greatness and real benefit that comes from such a change, because you find yourself contemplating so much, if you don't handle stress very well it can be ... tricky, so take it slow and don't over-think everything, believe me its dangerous.

Personally, I've always been terrible at controlling my stress in difficult situations, so this year having a lot of things to think about, to do with old friends, new friends, very old past events, who I am as I person and of course exams and getting into Uni, I found myself having quite a few panic attacks whether its within stressful situations, at one point it was when everything was completely silent, and the worst one was simply when I was thinking way too much and being paranoid, my panic attacks were never awful, and the worst one I had was on and off for about 10 minutes, so I had about 3 seperate panic attacks in that time ending with me just breaking down and leaving the room with a friend of mine, but they're still tiring and upsetting. Some of the closest friends I have now I met in November, which included one of my best friends, who had showed me quite a few YouTubers that she watched and who wrote blogs, and did vlogs, one of these was Zoella; http://www.zoella.co.uk/ (Check her out, and look at her YouTube aswell)
Now normally I probably wouldn't have strolled upon Zoella, as the majority of her blogs are to do with Fashion and Beauty, but I'm glad I did, as she's a very funny person, and her videos are great, one particular video, along with support from friends helped a lot,  this video was about Panic Attacks and how she dealt with them and her own experiences, watching that video made me feel a lot better about what I was going through, and how I could help myself. (Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-iNOFD27G4&hd=1)
Even just this, and seeing how my new friends helped me so much, made a lot of difference to that year, despite having a couple of friends that I've known for a long time, and have always been good to me, there was always a few friends that just made me feel unhappy with who I was, and to come in this new group and lose the ones that gave me that feeling made such a difference. Essentially I jumped into something I was completely unsure about, I got rid of friends, which is always a daunting thing for me, and I came into another group with  a few friends and tried to make friends with pretty much complete strangers,  and now I feel soooo much better. Which is the same with the whole year, and Uni, I've made a conscious effort to jump to a zone where I am uncomfortable, and to open my horizons, listen to my new friends thoughts and tried to understand what I never grasped before. So, if you've managed to keep with me all the way through this looong post, then I apologise for the length, I thank you for your patience, and I guess what the real purpose of this post was to explain how my year has been, and to tell others that have been in a similar mindset or situation to me that the idea of going into something that's 'unfamiliar' or 'uncomfortable' but might have good results, is one to be embraced, and basically go for it, don't hold back. I have never felt as happy and as content with who I am, as I do now, honestly there's still a few things that mess with my brain, but that's how it goes, and there is such a massive difference to how I was at the start of the year. So I'm going to finish this sentimental and extremely long blog, by being even more sentimental and thanking my friends for being so darn awesome, and to Zoella for posting that video, and making a difference to my view on my panic attacks. Phew. Blog over.

Seriously, congratulations if you made it this far, and I hope I might have helped a little.

Also just to add, I know this might be a little heavy for a 9th Blog plost, but I feel like If I'm going to continue with this blog, I should get the ball really rolling and one of the best ways of doing that is by having passion, and to write about something that has made such a difference to me, makes me passionate about this blog. I respect that I don't have a large audience but if this helps anyone, then hip hip hooray! I always found myself wandering onto random blogs and things to try and help me.

Anyway go and listen to Stevie Wonder or some Chubby Checker, be happy.

Ever Changing Aesthetics.

Now I don't know if there are any returning readers or prospective returning readers at the moment, but even if you're a one timer and feel like something my, in the future, for whatever reason urge you to return back to this land of filmic babble mixed in with a splash of that, and a splash of this. BUT ... I feel I should warn people anyway that as I am rather indecisive with certain things, you may see this website change quite a lot, whether it's in style or name, or content, because I'm just that darn cool that making up my mind is impossible! I will however try my best to keep some kind of continuous style so I don't make people think they've wondered onto a completely different blog...

New Writing Project

As it is the first year, I'm trying to salvage all the free time I have in the wisest manner possible (Wisest being the operative word) whether it be grabbing as much sleep as possible, to doing a tonne of work, and right now my 'wisest manner' is telling me to write some more, in terms of creative writing, so I'm giving myself another challenge. What, oh wisest mannered one, is this project all about? I hear you all scream, well my last challenge was to write a full length script, which would be around the equivalent of an hour and a half, which in all truth wasn't too good, but the whole point was just to experiment with the length of writing, which I did. My challenge now is to write again a full length script but for a genre that I'm not very comfortable in writing, and focus more on the quality a bit more, so that it has the right length, but.... you know.... is actually good, because lets be honest, you don't wanna be going to the cinema and watch a good length, well shot movie with a terrible story and dialogue.

The genre I got my friend to pick at random, and luckily it turned out to be one I've not really written about before; crime. My last script touched on it briefly, but was more a thriller that included criminal behaviour, but the story itself was more focused on being an emotional journey, and to explore the reactions of the characters to loss and troubles etc. So the objective of this project is to focus the majority of it on crime, and I have started the script, done the necessary character background work etc and I'm quite excited! Seeing as I've chosen a pretty tricky career to go into (Screenwriting/Directing/Acting) its best that I get as much experience as possible, so this is perfect for that.

Crime, although I'm not very comfortable with it and definitely not experienced with, is not terribly restricting, and there is quite a lot that can be done with it, whether its a very simple murder or a complicated series of events with intricate details to them, there is a LOT that can be done, so I am definitely looking forward to this. Wish me luck fellow readers/bloggers/....Internet-ers?

Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ya.

Effortless Editing, Ridiculous Reading and Laziness

So normally, and especially this year, more specifically this summer, I enjoy reading, and can get through a book fairly quick. As of recently reading has almost become a frightening thought, considering its Uni and should be intellectual and demanding it was certainly expected, but when my teacher says “Read so and so amount of chapters etc” I massively underestimate the length it will take me, taking in consideration, the undeniable ability to procrastinate, other lessons and pantomiming etc. Okay so maybe I’m over exaggerating again, I’m mainly talking about my most recent reading, Homer’s ‘The Odyssey’, when my teacher says “read up to book 14”….I did NOT quite understand how long 14 books (basically chapters) would take me, and I kind of put it off…rehearsing…listening to music….watching films….being generally lazy.  Oh dear, BUT I have spent most of today reading loads, I CAN DO THIS…maybe.

More work that I’ve done today has included my 3 hour Film Production lesson, which without a doubt is the best possible lesson of that length in existence! Today we focused on editing, the software we use is Avid, I have never used it before, I’ve only used After Effects, bit of premiere, bit of i-movie, and of course the classic but limiting Windows Movie Maker. Nevertheless, it was so smooth and slick, and made the task of editing seem so easy, which at times we all know its far from that, and for me can be the worst part. As a quick final statement, I’m still loving it here, not ill and everything’s good.  Au Revoir y’all.

As an an added quick final statement, despite the problems I’m having with the reading at the moment, reading is still good.  READ KIDS, or GTA will come and beat you up….yup the game is a human being that  instead of ‘encouraging violence’ encourages education and reading, so watch out guys, read or the big GTA guy’ll force you….Fun Ending.

Tumblr vs Blogger/Blogspot.

So, the reason I haven't really posted anything on here is because I wanted to try everything on Tumblr just because I think it just looks better in some parts, but it's also quite restricting. Now, as its actually pretty fun, and a nice thing to do on a late night when you're bored or something and University's a little quiet, I wanted to keep up a steady blog, but where I want to do it, I'm not sure. So, what I'm going to do, simply because I've found some bits on Tumblr I don't particularly like, where on Blogger or previous Blogspot, its possible to find better versions of it, I'm going to try out both. In theory it seems like a good idea, and could be interesting, but the practicality of it may lack a bit so we'll see how it works out! I seem to think I might keep photography projects and maybe a few films on Tumblr, and more actual blogging here on Blogger, because I feel like Tumblr is mainly for aesthetically pleasing photos, videos, gifs etc not big speeches of blogging from myself.

Call it an experiment of sorts, but it'll have an outcome, not deadly or dangerous...hopefully, so its all good. I will keep up with these blogs, because I want to, simple as that. I've changed my mind on the content a bit, so although it's gonna include things about University, I'm not going to limit to that, I'm going to blog about things I see that I like, ideas or projects I'm doing, pretty much anything I stop and think "I wanna write about this" and if I get people reading it, that'd be pretty cool and if anyone is reading which if the views demographics are actually right,people are, in which case, Hi :)

Today, I'm pretty bored, its a pretty uneventful Saturday and I'm in the mood to write, so I may post a couple of posts today, but definitely one in a minute.

Cya in a bit.

The Casual Vacancy...

So as I said I would, I am now writing a review of some sorts of The Casual Vacancy, so Ill try to keep the boredom inducing to a low!

First of all, I must say, as it is written by J.K. Rowling, the author of the very well known Harry Potter books, which my generation seems to have grown up around I was unsure of what to expect of her first adult novel. One thing I feel it is paramount to say for any prospective readers of the novel is not to go in with expectations, nor pre-judgements because you may not get the most out of it.

I love the ambition of the novel, it is successful in nearly every objective it appears to try and achieve, I did believe that J.K.Rowling would try to allow this novel to separate her from any typical categorization of her writing, and by Jove old chaps it does that and more! Honestly, it was a slight shock to read, because of its complete difference from Harry Potter, but that's what so good about it; whereas Harry Potter is a comparatively gentle fantasy about magic, The Casual Vacancy is a crude and real epitomization of life, and the select groups of people within it. The maturity, honesty and quite frankly bravery of the novel is inspiring, for someone so established in a genre to write a fantastic novel so completely removed from that specific genre can certainly be tricky, and needs courage. So hats off to J.K. for that!

The novel contains various sections of the town, and it battles with varying topics such as abuse, sex, death, rivalry, politics, drugs, it seems to establish the typical English town from the 'acceptable' topics we all know about to the slight more hidden and taboo subjects.

It really is rather tricky to write a review without revealing any spoilers of any kind, and there are quite a few moments that are best read by oneself, but I will say that it is a very interesting read, and I would certainly recommend it, but do not expect a happy, and child friendly novel for it is far from that....however what it is is an astounding mixture of humour, romance, tragedy and a big fat bundle of life... Seriously read it....be prepared.....but read it.


Another review to come later of The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, as a heads up I finished that book so quickly because of its pure ability to glue my hands to the book and not let go til I'd finished, absolutely incredible.

Cya!