Christmas

Its that time of the year where everyone goes a little bit mental, a little argumentative but also generally fills with quite a lot of love! Its Christmastime - 21st December, to be a little more specific.
This year I truly encountered Christmas in a different light, not as to its origins, religious or not but more on the present side of things. You see, for 3 weeks prior to this one, I was without my debit card because a cash machine had taken my card for no reason, and there were problems with it being re-issued. So I came home, excited and happy to see people, but also in a craze to get all my shopping done now I had a card. Now, I've probably already touched on this slightly but I stress very easily, and so it wasn't too long before I was running around like a headless chicken, flapping my wings and getting nowhere. Eventually after my metaphorical animalistic movement, I calmed down and ran around Chelmsford shopping, and eventually became completely relaxed right about.... Now, which is now 23rd December - Yup, I somehow neglected writing this for 2 days and have returned for more! But here I am, slouching on the sofa, in my dressing gown, because its crappy weather outside and I'm watching one of my all time favourite Christmas films; Love Actually. Now it properly feels like Christmas, and how could it not while watching this gem of a film?!
The procrastination of work that's gone on during this holiday so far is appalling, so I know at some point I'm going to have to start doing some of that, and yet for now its relaxing time. So as one of the briefest posts so far, I end it here, and wish all a Merry Christmas!!

Christmas University Blues...

One thing I didn't quite know about University is what I am now referring to as 'Christmas University Blues'. What is it? Well, unless I find out otherwise, it begins about 2 weeks before the Christmas holiday/vacation/ break/whatever you want to call it! Everyone has essays to hand in, its been over 2 months at Uni, some haven't gone home yet, some [like me] have been back a few times, and some [not quite as common] have gone back practically every weekend. As most people should know once back to school clothing has been sold in October, shops rush to be the first to stock their shelves with Christmas lovelies ready for it, 2-3 months in advance. Then, around November decorations start to appear, lights begin to creep up out of nowhere and suddenly its Christmas, and 2 weeks til we leave and go home for a month! Holy moly! But why the blues? You've seen you're family and friends, and you've got 2 weeks til you go. WELL... Those 2 weeks seem to go slower than normal, and any enthusiasm or excitement about Uni begins to dissipate a little more [Don't get me wrong, you still have tonnes of fun] but with essays, work and in my case and the rest of the cast - pantomime rehearsals to get on top of first, and all of this together mixed in with the constant flashes of Christmas in shops, on campus, in your dreams, in your flat. EVERYWHERE. It becomes a little real where you are and you have a little bit of home sickness, and all you want to do is go home. At least this applies to my flat, and a few other people I know here anyway, and definitely myself... However I must admit I cannot deny that when it comes to it, and I'm back in my ol' hometown, and with my friends having a good time, popping down the pub, eating roasty's and receiving and giving presents, I'll start to miss being at Uni and those in it...WELL GOSH DARN IT, YOU CAN'T WIN!

Nevertheless I'm still having a bloody brilliant time at Uni, and I regret nothing [urgh, stupid Cliche Liam! Stupid cliche] ITS GONNA BE AWESOME.

Mood Music

First off I want to just reassure you that this post won't be quite as horrifically long as my last one. I promise. Now 'Mood Music', just quickly I'm not talking about Barry White or Marvin Gaye in the bedroom, I'm being a little bit more generalized than that, I mean music that we play or is being played that reflects the mood we're in, and the weird bits and bobs around it.

So I think we'll start with the worst one first, so we can end on a positive note, sound good? You can't reply so I'll presume you agreed ;) "I'm depressed/sad/unhappy, I am unsure of what I should do to make myself feel better, oh well I'll just sit down and play this very depressing song, that seems like the best option for me at this moment, while I think of what to do" "WHAT??" I don't know how true this is for anyone else, but blooming heck is it true for me, if I'm ever down in the dumps, my mind instantly decides to play the most depressing songs possible, or ones that are about situations that are making me sad, I mean what the hell? It seems like the strangest thing to do, but something is so natural about it, one thing you should know about me is that I'm pretty much addicted to the internet and my phone, simple as that, so if I'm depressed and use them, you can bet I'll either go on YouTube or plug my headphones into my phone and shove some slow and sad music on! Why? I'm not sure, maybe in my unhappy zombie-mode I calculate in my brain that if I combine my emotion with the same type of song that they'll just clash and produce a happier emotion. Yeah...Sure....Whatever you say Zombie-Liam.

ENOUGH! Happy music time. What do I play when I'm happy? Depressing music, no I'm joking...possibly, but still the majority of the time its really jumpy songs, a bit of Stevie Wonder, bit of Michael Jackson, or a bit of rap something that makes me wanna jump and run around the house like an idiot (my flatmates have already witnessed this...poor them) BUT, when I'm happy and in fact when I'm being depressed but sensible, I listen to quite a bit of screamo; there's something about hearing someone destroy their lungs shouting lyrics that lifts my spirits! It'll be something like King for a Day by Kellin Quinn and Pierce the Veil, You are Beautiful or Friends like These by Deaf Havana just on repeat.... Personally I think it's a pretty good idea, it works for being depressed AND angry, you can hear  someone screaming, and feel like you're letting everything out, without getting a sore throat! Think about doing that next time!

Last of all, next time you're washing up or drying up or doing any chores shove some Stevie Wonder on or Michael Jackson BEST CHORE MUSIC EVER, get your dance on while working, its fun, its exercise and its greeeeeeat!! ... Oh dear, I think I should stop there, turning a bit insane. Tarah!

2013 Reflection.

Change. That is one of the main words I would use in relation to this past year, change and difference, a lot of my own personal morals, traditions, routines, feelings, concepts, wishes have completely changed, and I have been made to contemplate a lot. This is not a bad thing, trust me, sometimes we all NEED that change, we can be stuck in a position where we follow what we believe is the 'right way' or the 'only way' when in fact its purely 'your way' which can be changed, and doesn't have to be as set in concrete as you make it out to be. Just the same as you can sometimes be lead by 'others way' which is a set of feelings or morals that are molded to you by others who you respect, but may not respect and fool you into thinking their way is the best way. I'll start with a little warning though, despite the greatness and real benefit that comes from such a change, because you find yourself contemplating so much, if you don't handle stress very well it can be ... tricky, so take it slow and don't over-think everything, believe me its dangerous.

Personally, I've always been terrible at controlling my stress in difficult situations, so this year having a lot of things to think about, to do with old friends, new friends, very old past events, who I am as I person and of course exams and getting into Uni, I found myself having quite a few panic attacks whether its within stressful situations, at one point it was when everything was completely silent, and the worst one was simply when I was thinking way too much and being paranoid, my panic attacks were never awful, and the worst one I had was on and off for about 10 minutes, so I had about 3 seperate panic attacks in that time ending with me just breaking down and leaving the room with a friend of mine, but they're still tiring and upsetting. Some of the closest friends I have now I met in November, which included one of my best friends, who had showed me quite a few YouTubers that she watched and who wrote blogs, and did vlogs, one of these was Zoella; http://www.zoella.co.uk/ (Check her out, and look at her YouTube aswell)
Now normally I probably wouldn't have strolled upon Zoella, as the majority of her blogs are to do with Fashion and Beauty, but I'm glad I did, as she's a very funny person, and her videos are great, one particular video, along with support from friends helped a lot,  this video was about Panic Attacks and how she dealt with them and her own experiences, watching that video made me feel a lot better about what I was going through, and how I could help myself. (Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-iNOFD27G4&hd=1)
Even just this, and seeing how my new friends helped me so much, made a lot of difference to that year, despite having a couple of friends that I've known for a long time, and have always been good to me, there was always a few friends that just made me feel unhappy with who I was, and to come in this new group and lose the ones that gave me that feeling made such a difference. Essentially I jumped into something I was completely unsure about, I got rid of friends, which is always a daunting thing for me, and I came into another group with  a few friends and tried to make friends with pretty much complete strangers,  and now I feel soooo much better. Which is the same with the whole year, and Uni, I've made a conscious effort to jump to a zone where I am uncomfortable, and to open my horizons, listen to my new friends thoughts and tried to understand what I never grasped before. So, if you've managed to keep with me all the way through this looong post, then I apologise for the length, I thank you for your patience, and I guess what the real purpose of this post was to explain how my year has been, and to tell others that have been in a similar mindset or situation to me that the idea of going into something that's 'unfamiliar' or 'uncomfortable' but might have good results, is one to be embraced, and basically go for it, don't hold back. I have never felt as happy and as content with who I am, as I do now, honestly there's still a few things that mess with my brain, but that's how it goes, and there is such a massive difference to how I was at the start of the year. So I'm going to finish this sentimental and extremely long blog, by being even more sentimental and thanking my friends for being so darn awesome, and to Zoella for posting that video, and making a difference to my view on my panic attacks. Phew. Blog over.

Seriously, congratulations if you made it this far, and I hope I might have helped a little.

Also just to add, I know this might be a little heavy for a 9th Blog plost, but I feel like If I'm going to continue with this blog, I should get the ball really rolling and one of the best ways of doing that is by having passion, and to write about something that has made such a difference to me, makes me passionate about this blog. I respect that I don't have a large audience but if this helps anyone, then hip hip hooray! I always found myself wandering onto random blogs and things to try and help me.

Anyway go and listen to Stevie Wonder or some Chubby Checker, be happy.

Ever Changing Aesthetics.

Now I don't know if there are any returning readers or prospective returning readers at the moment, but even if you're a one timer and feel like something my, in the future, for whatever reason urge you to return back to this land of filmic babble mixed in with a splash of that, and a splash of this. BUT ... I feel I should warn people anyway that as I am rather indecisive with certain things, you may see this website change quite a lot, whether it's in style or name, or content, because I'm just that darn cool that making up my mind is impossible! I will however try my best to keep some kind of continuous style so I don't make people think they've wondered onto a completely different blog...

New Writing Project

As it is the first year, I'm trying to salvage all the free time I have in the wisest manner possible (Wisest being the operative word) whether it be grabbing as much sleep as possible, to doing a tonne of work, and right now my 'wisest manner' is telling me to write some more, in terms of creative writing, so I'm giving myself another challenge. What, oh wisest mannered one, is this project all about? I hear you all scream, well my last challenge was to write a full length script, which would be around the equivalent of an hour and a half, which in all truth wasn't too good, but the whole point was just to experiment with the length of writing, which I did. My challenge now is to write again a full length script but for a genre that I'm not very comfortable in writing, and focus more on the quality a bit more, so that it has the right length, but.... you know.... is actually good, because lets be honest, you don't wanna be going to the cinema and watch a good length, well shot movie with a terrible story and dialogue.

The genre I got my friend to pick at random, and luckily it turned out to be one I've not really written about before; crime. My last script touched on it briefly, but was more a thriller that included criminal behaviour, but the story itself was more focused on being an emotional journey, and to explore the reactions of the characters to loss and troubles etc. So the objective of this project is to focus the majority of it on crime, and I have started the script, done the necessary character background work etc and I'm quite excited! Seeing as I've chosen a pretty tricky career to go into (Screenwriting/Directing/Acting) its best that I get as much experience as possible, so this is perfect for that.

Crime, although I'm not very comfortable with it and definitely not experienced with, is not terribly restricting, and there is quite a lot that can be done with it, whether its a very simple murder or a complicated series of events with intricate details to them, there is a LOT that can be done, so I am definitely looking forward to this. Wish me luck fellow readers/bloggers/....Internet-ers?

Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ya.

Effortless Editing, Ridiculous Reading and Laziness

So normally, and especially this year, more specifically this summer, I enjoy reading, and can get through a book fairly quick. As of recently reading has almost become a frightening thought, considering its Uni and should be intellectual and demanding it was certainly expected, but when my teacher says “Read so and so amount of chapters etc” I massively underestimate the length it will take me, taking in consideration, the undeniable ability to procrastinate, other lessons and pantomiming etc. Okay so maybe I’m over exaggerating again, I’m mainly talking about my most recent reading, Homer’s ‘The Odyssey’, when my teacher says “read up to book 14”….I did NOT quite understand how long 14 books (basically chapters) would take me, and I kind of put it off…rehearsing…listening to music….watching films….being generally lazy.  Oh dear, BUT I have spent most of today reading loads, I CAN DO THIS…maybe.

More work that I’ve done today has included my 3 hour Film Production lesson, which without a doubt is the best possible lesson of that length in existence! Today we focused on editing, the software we use is Avid, I have never used it before, I’ve only used After Effects, bit of premiere, bit of i-movie, and of course the classic but limiting Windows Movie Maker. Nevertheless, it was so smooth and slick, and made the task of editing seem so easy, which at times we all know its far from that, and for me can be the worst part. As a quick final statement, I’m still loving it here, not ill and everything’s good.  Au Revoir y’all.

As an an added quick final statement, despite the problems I’m having with the reading at the moment, reading is still good.  READ KIDS, or GTA will come and beat you up….yup the game is a human being that  instead of ‘encouraging violence’ encourages education and reading, so watch out guys, read or the big GTA guy’ll force you….Fun Ending.

Tumblr vs Blogger/Blogspot.

So, the reason I haven't really posted anything on here is because I wanted to try everything on Tumblr just because I think it just looks better in some parts, but it's also quite restricting. Now, as its actually pretty fun, and a nice thing to do on a late night when you're bored or something and University's a little quiet, I wanted to keep up a steady blog, but where I want to do it, I'm not sure. So, what I'm going to do, simply because I've found some bits on Tumblr I don't particularly like, where on Blogger or previous Blogspot, its possible to find better versions of it, I'm going to try out both. In theory it seems like a good idea, and could be interesting, but the practicality of it may lack a bit so we'll see how it works out! I seem to think I might keep photography projects and maybe a few films on Tumblr, and more actual blogging here on Blogger, because I feel like Tumblr is mainly for aesthetically pleasing photos, videos, gifs etc not big speeches of blogging from myself.

Call it an experiment of sorts, but it'll have an outcome, not deadly or dangerous...hopefully, so its all good. I will keep up with these blogs, because I want to, simple as that. I've changed my mind on the content a bit, so although it's gonna include things about University, I'm not going to limit to that, I'm going to blog about things I see that I like, ideas or projects I'm doing, pretty much anything I stop and think "I wanna write about this" and if I get people reading it, that'd be pretty cool and if anyone is reading which if the views demographics are actually right,people are, in which case, Hi :)

Today, I'm pretty bored, its a pretty uneventful Saturday and I'm in the mood to write, so I may post a couple of posts today, but definitely one in a minute.

Cya in a bit.

The Casual Vacancy...

So as I said I would, I am now writing a review of some sorts of The Casual Vacancy, so Ill try to keep the boredom inducing to a low!

First of all, I must say, as it is written by J.K. Rowling, the author of the very well known Harry Potter books, which my generation seems to have grown up around I was unsure of what to expect of her first adult novel. One thing I feel it is paramount to say for any prospective readers of the novel is not to go in with expectations, nor pre-judgements because you may not get the most out of it.

I love the ambition of the novel, it is successful in nearly every objective it appears to try and achieve, I did believe that J.K.Rowling would try to allow this novel to separate her from any typical categorization of her writing, and by Jove old chaps it does that and more! Honestly, it was a slight shock to read, because of its complete difference from Harry Potter, but that's what so good about it; whereas Harry Potter is a comparatively gentle fantasy about magic, The Casual Vacancy is a crude and real epitomization of life, and the select groups of people within it. The maturity, honesty and quite frankly bravery of the novel is inspiring, for someone so established in a genre to write a fantastic novel so completely removed from that specific genre can certainly be tricky, and needs courage. So hats off to J.K. for that!

The novel contains various sections of the town, and it battles with varying topics such as abuse, sex, death, rivalry, politics, drugs, it seems to establish the typical English town from the 'acceptable' topics we all know about to the slight more hidden and taboo subjects.

It really is rather tricky to write a review without revealing any spoilers of any kind, and there are quite a few moments that are best read by oneself, but I will say that it is a very interesting read, and I would certainly recommend it, but do not expect a happy, and child friendly novel for it is far from that....however what it is is an astounding mixture of humour, romance, tragedy and a big fat bundle of life... Seriously read it....be prepared.....but read it.


Another review to come later of The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, as a heads up I finished that book so quickly because of its pure ability to glue my hands to the book and not let go til I'd finished, absolutely incredible.

Cya!

Xavi-Who?

Hi!

As so many (none) of you will be constantly (never) asking such important (useless) questions such as who is this Liam? What does Xavifilms mean? Why should I bother reading it? Then I shall explain...

Basically my name is Liam, and just like pretty much every other year 13 student I received my A level results yesterday (Thursday 15th August 2013) and despite all my doubts and worries, I managed to get into University!! HOORAY! Specifically The University of Essex in Wivenhoe to study Film and Creative Writing. So I thought, to express how the journey and experience of everything is going I would create a blog and write about as much as I can think of for anyone else thinking of applying to university in the future, but also mainly to keep reminding myself that it is real...and I have actually made it to uni (praise the Morgan Freeman) and possibly to keep any sanity that may be lacking once I start working....But also because its fun.

That still doesn't quite explain Xavifilms!, but there's not exactly much creative background to that. I was simply in my living room with one of my friends, who also got into Uni, working out things, thinking of celebrations, and just getting over the excitement of it all, and decided while my friend was there I'd try and start it!...So what do you call a blog? hmmm....You see the tired, in disbelief and excited Liam didnt have the right mood to be perfectly creative, so I just mixed my surname with stuff and bish bash bosh.

Creative Update.

Hello, once again! I wanted to keep these blogs being weekly, and really had the urge to write a new post, so here we are again. However as I haven't really done much in this week, I could not quite summarize the 'busy' and 'hectic' week...because it wasn't at all...So, the best solution is to add Creative  to Update, because then it goes from boring .... to Creative!! See? Soooooo Amazing.

So moving on from that, until my jokes/puns/crimesagainsthumour become annoying (too late)  What has actually happened since 'Book Shopping'? Well.....Book Shopping. Like I said I would, I went book shopping again with a friend on Monday and got 4 more books!! I got the essential Student Cookbook!! Along with a philosophy book to question life...because thats always fun...and slightly depressing and 2 Nicholas Sparks books!! ... Slightly obsessed with his books; The Notebook and Safe Haven were the two I bought of his, and I have also finished J.K.Rowlings 'The Casual Vacancy' which was wonderful...and they'll probably be some kind of review to follow...because its just one of them things, where I get all nerdy and have so much enthusiasm for something and can't help but explode my thoughts onto a page...Sorry.

The only other major thing, exluding work that I have done was a little 2 hour pre-university study session in the Town Library, just writing some notes on Writing Essays, Getting ideas for scripts...writing scripts....the roles within film...Anything I could find to allow me to be properly be prepared for the course start in October!! There were some great and very helpful books, so if I can find the names of them again, I shall post them on here. But seeing as that is about it for this week, I shall sign off, and watch this space (horrible cliche ending) because I'll post something about The Casual Vacancy fairly soon! Bye.

Book Shopping

Okay, so since I received the good news about University, I have had lots of different information politely and pleasantly thrown at me by UCAS, the University, Friends and Family which has all been appreciated very much, as I am relatively clueless in some aspects. But right now what I am doing is a mixture of the all essential preparation along with making the most of feeling relaxed and enjoy this bleeding lovely summer! (We'll forget about the little blip of rain and flooding).


"But please Liam, do tell us what preperation you are referring to? We are ever so interested." ...

Well alright then, strange and invisible reader, if you insist! Preparation so far has just been looking up what I'll need to bring, what is provided etc but I also thought it rather important to go on a little book shopping trip! Now, I've seen around that buying recommended course books is somewhat costly and not necessarily needed as all books will be provided at the University library, but as my course is a Film and Creative Writing course I thought it'd be a good idea to stock up on creative inspiration and influence! I wanted to get a mixture of differing genre fictions, to get me excited for the concept of more writing, and to give some inspiration along with some more historical and non-fiction books that could give me more knowledge on other aspects that might benefit me in my course. Considering I'm going to have to start budgeting soon its only wise to not spend a great deal now! So my master plan was to write down a list of books I'd like and visit different shops and try and find the cheapest. Today I went shopping for Fiction books in the town I live in, which admittedly doesnt have an absolute abundance of book shops but there are places...and it was a succesful shop! I came home with 4 awesome books by some incredible writers,  which are....

Message In A Bottle - Nicholas Sparks (Romance Genre, and for a bit of soppy reading)
Casual Vacancy - J.K.Rowling (Mainly to find out how someone like J.K can demolish specific writing expectations, which so far is absolutely true, this book is fantastic and so different!)
The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons - Dan Brown (For obvious reasons, both of these were made into great films, and I really wanted to see what the original books were like!)

So reading and buying these books is really starting to further my excitement for Uni and I cannot wait to carry on, I'm also going to go shopping for more historical books with a friend of mine soon in Chelmsford so that should be good. Its still a bit weird to be writing this blog and not knowing if anyone actually cares about any of this or finds it interesting or if in fact I'm just talking to myself, either way its still kind of fun to write it! Please leave some comments if you feel like it, and to allow me to know you're there :) Might post some reviews up when I finish the books if anyone's interested.