Xavi's 5am Natter!

I'm starting to think that I'm going a little doolally as it were, as I'm sitting downstairs in the accommodation dining room, after productive revision, multiple coffees, tea, a beer, and no sleep, and I'm feeling a little strangely energetic. Nevertheless, I thought I'd pause from my revision (I'm not encouraging any all nighters just to clarify, in the moment it feels like a good idea... it probably isn't) and do something I haven't really done in a while, which is basically have a chat. That's probably the simplest of ways to put it, this blog started off being fairly chatty, with preparation for Uni, then there was more on books, music, film etc then I started writing more sentimental and advice-giving posts, which is all well and good but after a while, you need a bit of an anticlimax in some sense. So, I'm taking advantage of my current willingness to be scarily productive, and taken into consideration the probability that because of my lack of sleep this week, especially tonight (this morning?, don't really know what to call it, covers both) I am unlikely to be able to write a more intense post like before! Hooray I say! Let's have a breather from crazy 'be happy' posts, or reviews of different things and just have a natter...well I, caffeined up and a little mad will type my ramblings into this post, with the hope someone might be interested, not really a natter, but I notice as I write this that I'm speaking out loud anyway so I guess I'm talking to my laptop?.... No, that's worse than not nattering at all... where does the word natter even come from? Oh well... Cool.... Natter. As you can see, as it is just a natter, there's not a planned structure as such, but you don't meet up with someone and turn up with a 20 minute schedule on what you're gonna talk about now do ya?! ...do you? 25th May and I am becoming more and more excited and more ready for the summer, for when exams are over and uni is paused for 4 months holiday, and I get to enjoy the warmth (presumably, but you never know!) with my friends and just generally relax a bit more! People can say anything about Britain, and its weather, but when it is sunny, and it is a nice day there are some blooming wonderful places to go! The beaches, the countryside, the lakes, and I can guarantee you there's a place outside your door that you haven't explored yet. Explore it. Why? Because you can, and because, for you, it will only exist when you see it, and why deny a place existence if it could hold some of your best future memories? I was always think as well people feel compelled to makes so much of summer, pack so much in, do everything, spend all your money, go to every place you can, which by no means is a bad thing, it's great, summer's meant for that, but strangely some people forget to relax. If what you're doing or have organised to do is causing you too much unneeded stress, then how can you enjoy the summer?! Always give time to relax, grab a beer/cider/pimms/fanta/coke/juice carton/milk/water/ trough water (if you're horse...but then you wouldn't be so forget that). 

There's a strange feeling at Uni at the moment, because it's just revision and minimal lectures/ classes the campus is always a lot quieter, people are not downstairs as much anymore, and the summer term is beginning to show similarities to some apocalyptic event. Revision; The Apocalypse, where nearly everyone looks tired and half-dead and their sensitivity may cause them to snap at you, where most places you go only have a few of these people who occasionally smile, but the majority of the time stay staring into the distance yearning for brains. Of course I'm exaggerating but it is definitely weird, and it's strange to only be here for 6 weeks, but summer terms is giving me chances to think (not always a good idea, so be careful what your brain stumbles upon!) and work out post-graduation things, quite exciting actually. Okay, so that was a strange and completely unorganised post, but you gotta love days like that, can't have a blog being rigid and regimented, it's gotta be fun every once in a while, keep smiling people. 

Being in control and Recycling the negatives.

I'm going to attempt to keep this one fairly brief, because I've touched on these before, but I was re-attaching my posters to my Uni bedroom wall, which seem to just decide every once in a while to be like "Ha! Screw you, I'm gonna jump off the wall and land on your head while you're sleeping" and I read a couple of quotes that made we want to write something. In case you haven't already guessed, the quotes came from the one on the left, not catching fire, although "Remember who the enemy is" makes me smile every time, but we'd be here for days if i started chatting about Catching Fire. Although, my love for the film combined with the fact that this blog is somewhat lacking in film posts probably means a catching fire post will happen. Indefinitely. ANYWAY, the two quotes I like the most on the poster are "Don't wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment, make it perfect." and "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain". They're fairly self-explanatory, but both of them emphasise a point that we often seem to disregard as being the truth, which is that, when it comes down to it we are quite heavily in control of our life (putting any thoughts on fate aside for a second). People can often become disheartened by previous life events, or if something in their life doesn't appear to be improving, but on quite a few of these occasions, if people are honest with themselves there is often something that can be done. This something could be a 'moment', a skill, a situation, a feeling etc that, by regaining control, and believing you have the power to take control can be improved on and made 'perfect'. It relates quite well to the second quote, which is why I like them so much together because it's quite understandable and common for people to get stuck in a rut, after being subject to something that appears negative. You get upset, you get angry, you get confused. You become stuck. Being 'stuck' means that it's a little tricky to see everything and you might miss certain things, so if you are 'stuck' then it's best to look for the smaller, less obvious things, because these are often the things that, pardon the oxymoron, can be insignificantly significant. What I mean by that is what at first seems irrelevant to consider or think about may in fact be the key to alleviating the problem and leaving the rut you're in. You look for these things, and allow yourself the ability to get better and that will be your 'dance in the rain'. Recycle the negatives. Take control. Stay in control.

Facing the Future

The future is a huge thing, I mean it applies to literally everyone and everything, it covers a massive variety of things; the future of the world, 1 person, careers, a certain industry, advancements etc. So I guess the title 'Facing the Future' is a little vague, but what I'm defining the future as in this post is career and personal progression. One of the best things about living where I do is most times you can find somewhere at a some point in time that will be completely peaceful and gives you space to think and to breath. One of these places for me is the sea wall by Heybridge Basin (pictured on the left) the walk from my house round the sea wall and back can be between an hour and a half to 2 hours so there's plenty of time to reflect, decide, or just chill.

The other day I'd spent the day with a friend of mine and he lives fairly close to it, so at the end of the day I thought I'd go down there as I hadn't been in a while and I found myself considering the future, and what it means to me. It's always been something that's troubled and worried me, and some of my friends and lets be honest, the majority of the world, which is part of the reason I'm writing about it here. Around my age (19) and basically adolescence to early adulthood the future can be quite a curious thing. Learning new things, discovering hobbies and meeting different friends means its easy for the future to become nothing but a blank canvas, which is good, because really that's the best way of moving forward, filling the canvas with what will make you the happiest. Personally, all the career paths I've wanted to get into (Acting, Directing, Writing) have all been ones that come with their fair share of restrictions and rejections, and the idea of instability. Right now I'm focusing more on becoming a writer, and so using a couple of websites I've looked into it more in terms of how I can have it as a valid and stable career option. I think that with everyone's dream, there's always going to be that central ambitious path that leads to the desired career, and we can't just mock or give up on those ideas or desires, because they are essentially what represent us, as individuals. It's far from naive to believe we can succeed in getting to where we want as along that central path there's always smaller things that can keep you stable while you progress. No-one ever said achieving dreams is a simple and overnight thing - that's more naive, but there's nothing wrong in keeping you're dream going until you reach it. Like with writing, yeah it's true I'm not gonna write a book, get it published and have my life sorted, for one thing its unlikely that publishing would be that easy and even if it got that stage life wouldn't be financially stable at that point. So I could start off becoming a journalist (entertainment content not news) which then along with this blog which I want to continue for ages to come, will promote my name, so if it does come to me getting a book published the name might mean something to even just a small minority of previous readers. A stable job that is more likely to let you survive and keep going, relevant to your desired career, is probably an extremely essential thing, as it allows you to keep positive and optimistic and still be in a career that revolves around a part of your life you're passionate about. I know even at this age, that if you have something small that you're passionate about, you're a lot more likely to cope through trickier situations within your life, and fearing the future is ... natural but really not conducive, so why not look forward to it if you can?!